Thursday, May 19, 2011

Devouring Infants

Soon, I will begin devouring infants again. It's kind of my Thing. These are the infants I intend to consume:

Mystery Babies in the weird plastic bag, Mung Bean's babies, Broccoli babies and a third packet labeled only "Zesty Mix". I can only assume these babies will scream as I chew them. That'd be an interesting change of pace.

But ugh. Planning to eat babies is such a hassel. It means I have to crack out my baby incubator again.

This one isn't my best baby incubator. But the best one is upstairs hiding behind my mirror and I'm too lazy to go up there and stare at it, hope that it'll magically start sprouting babies without my actually needing to do anything, wander away, procrastinate for several months, stare at it again and finally, three months later, actually get to work.

So instead, I just took this one out of the closet, sat it on the coffee table and wrote a blog about it. Oh yeah. I'm totally on the ball.

There's a documentary on the tv talking about "bundles of sperm released into the ocean", though, so at least I'm slightly more normal than that. You'll never catch me releasing sperm into the ocean all bundled up. I am totally in the anti-bundled sperm camp. know, now this post is just kind of sad. I'm going to stop before someone from the government shows up.

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