So I tried to make a cake. Apparently I'm not much of a baker type person. I took half of a pinapple upside down cake and since I didn't have upsidedown pineapples, I just made the cake. It is possibly the driest, angriest bakery product I have ever tasted.
Just look at it. Its squinty yellow eyes... its little tentacles of death. It hates me.
In Soviet Russia, cakes eat YOU.